Thursday 21 June 2018

IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK

I am so mad right now. 

I'm sitting crying into my laptop after seeing a bunch of Mental Health posts online. Just recently, another celebrity, apparently someone who always appeared happy and laughing, has chosen to end their life and the world can't comprehend it. Everyone's reacting to how sad it is and I've seen chainmail posts from people saying "you're not alone" and "their house is a safe zone and is a place of non-judgement". Well isn't it a damn shame you didn't feel the same a few years ago when your best friend was suffering? That's the fucked up world that we live in today folks. Where people feel sad for celebrities or can empathise with people they don't know over actually helping someone they do know with their problems.Why? Simply because they just don't have the time for it.

I went through a really tough time. At one point, I felt like I just couldn't catch a break. It was bad news after bad news. When I look back I can admit, I'd had a nervous breakdown. Life was too much and things started spiralling out of control. I hit rock bottom and ended up needing pills to get me up out of bed in the morning to face every day task that most people wouldn't usually think twice about.

I've always believed people don't treat Mental Health as an 'illness' as it is an illness that cannot always necessarily be seen. Just because we cannot see someones pain, does not mean it doesn't exist. You'll clearly see a broken leg or arm and right away you can see they are in pain. But when someone is hurting so much on the inside, it's not as easy to see. I've read somewhere before that depression is a selfish disease. And I do believe it to some extent, because when you're depressed you're not thinking about anyone else's pain or how your pain is affecting anyone but you. But I know from my own experience, is that I didn't want to burden anyone with my pain. And I don't find that selfish at all. Complete opposite in fact. 

Some people won't chose to share their mental health for a number of reasons; pride, fear of rejection; admitting defeat or the simple fact that they don't want anyone else to hurt like they are hurting. That doesn't necessarily mean it's up to them to help themselves. If warning signs are there, make more of an effort. If they start cancelling on you all the time, stop replying to your texts or they may start taking less care in their appearance. Are they irrational or behaving different? Having mood swings? Are they deliberately isolating themselves? Literally anything out the ordinary. I'd like to think I'd notice a change in my friend if they were struggling. If you're not sure, speak to them, speak to their parents or partner. Do anything because if they choose to end their life, you'll be the one left with the guilt and regret if you do nothing. 

If people who suffer from mental health could snap their fingers and feel better, believe it when I say we bloody would! Depression isn't a sign of weakness. It means you have been strong for too long.

To those I may have hurt during my darkest times.
Please forgive me, if I pushed you away. Forgive me, if I was needy and longed for you to physically show me how much I meant to you. Forgive me for hurting and taking longer to deal with my grief.  Forgive me, for not appreciating you tried to help. Forgive me, for not thinking of your pain too. But please remember, nobody in their right frame of mind just ups and quits their job. Stops making an effort in all aspects of their life and pushes their closest friends away. It's actually heartbreaking to feel like I meant so little, that my friendship wasn't worth fighting for. I think that's something that will stick with me forever. I wasn't worth it. 

I can imagine it being bloody tough being a friend to someone who struggles with Mental Health. But my god, I'd rather be a good friend than have anyone feel like they have to battle through it alone. After all, that's what friends are for, right? 

"Good friends help you find things when you've lost them. 
Things like your mind, your hope, your courage and your smile". 



Wednesday 20 June 2018

MUM TIPS

MY TOP TIPS/ADVICE FOR NEW MUMS


Being a first-time mum myself, I know how hard it can be adjusting to your new role as a mumma and how the lack of sleep can affect your whole day, mood - everything! So I thought I'd conjure up a few things that have seriously helped me out and adapt to my new 'mum-life' a little bit easier.

1. Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep Machine

Worth.Every.Penny! I remember speaking to my mum when I was pregnant and I told her I wanted a perfect prep as I'd read heaps of reviews online and she laughed at me saying it would be a 'waste of money' and remarked 'what's wrong with boiling a kettle?" Well, for once, I am glad I didn't listen to her!! When you have a screaming baby, hungry at 3am you don't want to wait/YOU CAN'T wait for 30 minutes while the kettle cools down. It's so not fun!! The perfect prep does all the hard work for you and has the bottle ready in a matter of minutes. It normally retails for around £120 but the likes of Asda, Mothercare etc are always doing half price deals. PS, even my mum has been converted and thinks its a god-send!

2. Car Seat/Pram Toy 

Picture this. You're driving in your car and you get stopped at lights. Baby starts to cry and you can't reach behind you to soothe them. What a nightmare! This had happened to me a few times and it wasn't until I was in a shopping centre one day and I saw a couple with their pushing their baby in the pram and noticed that they had a toy bar across the carseat handle. I literally went on to google right away to purchase one.  They are amazing. I bought mine from Smyths Toy Store for £9.99. It had a rattle, a mirror and a musical/light up lion and my son was obsessed. He was totally fascinated by the lion and would sit content for ages. Money well spent.

3. Ewan The Dream Sheep

Ewan certainly is a dream thats for sure. For those who don't know about Ewan, he is a soothing sheep which lights up and plays calming sounds that replicate those that babies hear in the womb. Ever since my son was born, I'd play white noise on Youtube on my phone and it would help settle him/get him to sleep but it meant me being phoneless until bub had fell asleep and when I did eventually get my phone back my battery would be low. Not ideal. You can attach Ewan to the cot and press any of his feet for approx 20 mins of soothing noises which helps the little ones drift off into dreamland. He retails for £29.99 which isn't the cheapest but if you're struggling to settle your little one - its definitely worth a try.

4. A Pram/Stroller Organiser 

I'm a little bit late to the game with this. I've seen so many people with pram organisers but never really felt the need for one. But if you're anything like me and constantly saying "where's my phone?", "where's my keys" then this could be your saviour! I ordered one from Amazon and I love it, it is big enough for me to fit nappies, wipes, purse, 2 bottles and it has a touch screen see through bag for my phone. My only wish is I'd bought it sooner!! 

5. Baby Classes

I remember being pregnant and wondering if I'd ever pluck up the courage to attend a baby sensory class (Moo Music, Jo Jingles Gymboree etc) and if I am honest, I don't think I would have if it wasn't for my prego friend! I am so glad I joined a baby class because not only do I think it helps bring on your little one - it's also a chance for you to meet new mum friends and be able to talk baby all day but still have grown up chats with people in similar situations. I attended both Moo Music and Jo Jingles with my son and he loved them both. They offer a variety of sensory toys and nursery rhymes to help them learn. I've got a great circle of mummy friends now and I do think mum-life would be a hell of a lot harder without them so get yourself to a class and meet some mummies.

I hope these tips help any mummies or mummies-to-be out. Leave a comment below with any tips you think all parents should know!