My work contacted Team Mental Health to conduct a Masterclass for the staff on Mental Health and it was brilliant. The Doctors from TMH were so informative and explained everything really well. They made a statement that really stuck with me.
"Mental Health is a good thing".
Mental Health is a good thing. We all have mental health. It affects how we feel, think and act. A Mental Health disorder, on the other hand, is an illness and this is the confusion that many of us have. If you look up Mental Health in the dictionary, it describes it as "a person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being". It doesn't mention mental health in a negative light, so why do we associate it so negatively?
Why is there so much stigma around Mental Health disorders? What can we do to combat this? Honestly, in my opinion - we just need to talk about it more. The more people talk and share their knowledge/experiences the more people will begin to understand.
Early Warning Signs:
Not sure if you or someone you know is living with mental health problems? Experiencing one or more of the following feelings or behaviours can be an early warning sign of a problem:
- Eating or sleeping too much or too little
- Pulling away from people and usual activities
- Having low or no energy
- Feeling numb or like nothing matters
- Having unexplained aches and pains
- Feeling helpless or hopeless
- Smoking, drinking, or using drugs more than usual
- Feeling unusually confused, forgetful, on edge, angry, upset, worried, or scared
- Yelling or fighting with family and friends
- Experiencing severe mood swings that cause problems in relationships
- Having persistent thoughts and memories you can't get out of your head
- Hearing voices or believing things that are not true
- Thinking of harming yourself or others
- Inability to perform daily tasks like taking care of your kids or getting to work or school
^Credit: Mental Health.gov
People who suffer from Mental Health disorders can be very good at hiding it. And in some cases, they don't even realise that they actually have a Mental Health problem in the first place! I know this first hand because I was in denial for so long. I was always seen smiling and laughing so people would see me as this really happy and bubbly girl who loved life. But behind that smile, was a girl so frightened of her own suicidal thoughts at times, too terrified to show her vulnerable side to anyone, she continued to force a smile and pretend everything was ok when it really wasn't.
I've always been a pretty emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I cry at sad movies and when the people I love are hurting, I hurt too. It's been a few years now, since I was in my darkest place. I still have the odd day where I succumb to awful thoughts and feelings, where I just want to disappear from it all but I am a mum now. I have a 2 year old who depends on my very existence. Motherhood has undoubtedly been my saviour.
I still don't think a lot of people really understood what I was going through when I was really depressed. I don't think anyone can fully understand a Mental Health disorder until they've gone through something similar. Yes, you can fully empathise and try to imagine someones pain but honestly, trying to explain to someone why you feel the way you do, when you don't even know why you feel a certain way yourself - is incredibly difficult on everyone involved. On the back of this, I now suffer incredibly with anxiety and it's cost me a lot in the form of friendships.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I sometimes really struggle. I do watch what I share with people because I don't want peoples perceptions of me to change and for anyone to start avoiding me. I like giving off the impression that I am strong and give the allusion that I basically have my shit together even if I'm crumbling inside. I like being that "go-to" person. Someone that people know they can rely on and turn to when times are tough. I think it stems from me not wanting anyone to feel as low or alone as I have, so I've somehow adopted this attitude of wanting to take care of everyone but not really bothering about myself. Cue the downward spiral of pressure/stress/unrealistic expectations/scary thoughts. The road to recovery is hard, again for the person with the Mental Health disorder and for those around them. For me, identifying my triggers has really helped me on my way to fighting off those dark days. Figuring out what sets off those feelings of hopelessness and unworthiness. During the Masterclass, I had a "lightbulb" moment where I realised 2 things about myself -
I still don't think a lot of people really understood what I was going through when I was really depressed. I don't think anyone can fully understand a Mental Health disorder until they've gone through something similar. Yes, you can fully empathise and try to imagine someones pain but honestly, trying to explain to someone why you feel the way you do, when you don't even know why you feel a certain way yourself - is incredibly difficult on everyone involved. On the back of this, I now suffer incredibly with anxiety and it's cost me a lot in the form of friendships.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I sometimes really struggle. I do watch what I share with people because I don't want peoples perceptions of me to change and for anyone to start avoiding me. I like giving off the impression that I am strong and give the allusion that I basically have my shit together even if I'm crumbling inside. I like being that "go-to" person. Someone that people know they can rely on and turn to when times are tough. I think it stems from me not wanting anyone to feel as low or alone as I have, so I've somehow adopted this attitude of wanting to take care of everyone but not really bothering about myself. Cue the downward spiral of pressure/stress/unrealistic expectations/scary thoughts. The road to recovery is hard, again for the person with the Mental Health disorder and for those around them. For me, identifying my triggers has really helped me on my way to fighting off those dark days. Figuring out what sets off those feelings of hopelessness and unworthiness. During the Masterclass, I had a "lightbulb" moment where I realised 2 things about myself -
Firstly, I expect way too much of others. I assume people will treat me like I would treat them. But life just doesn't work that way. I can't expect people to think and feel the same way I do. I know that probably sounds like I am stating the obviously but honestly, it really resignated with me. I need to appreciate that everyone has different morals/opinions and ideas and although I may not agree with them, I have to accept it.
Secondly, I need to start putting me first. I need to learn to say no. Burning the candles at both ends is never going to end well. It ties in with the above because I try to never say "no" to anyone or let anyone down, so when people let me down or say no to me, I take it really personally. This is something I am going to have to work on probably forever but now that I've recognised that this is an issue for me and it triggers me on a downward spiral, I will try and focus on myself more, rather than being a people pleaser.
I thought it was really bloody brilliant that my work arranged a Mental Health masterclass because quite frankly, we all bang on about being physically healthy but being mentally healthy is equally as important. The fear of being judged is usually one of the reasons people don't want to admit they have a Mental Health problem. So for a workplace to actively try and make it a "judgement free" "safe place" and want to have a better understanding is incredible and admirable.
We need to stop stereotyping Mental Health disorders with someone looking sad. There really is so much more to a Mental Health disorder than what we physically see. A simple comment like "how are you?" or "you've been quiet lately, everything ok?" could really make the world of a difference for someone.
So remember, check in on your loved ones and don't just assume because they are smiling that everything is ok. There are so many signs that can show someone is struggling but there can also be no warning signs at all. If you do suspect someone you know may be suffering, encourage them to speak to their Doctor. Even the smallest things, like having a chat over a cup of tea can totally lift someones spirits. Small acts of kindness have the biggest impacts in life.
Be kind, always.
Be kind, always.
For anyone looking for information on Mental Health - I've linked a few websites that provide professional healthcare advice.
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